Husband came home very sad.
Wife asked; What happened?
Husband, our office building collapsed killing all my colleagues.
Wife; but how did you survive?
Husband; I was out for a smoke.
Wife; thank God you survived.
Husband opens Television, Chief Minister was on the scene announcing 10 Cr each, to the deceased families.
Wife; I have become sick and tired of your smoking habit.
藍
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A woman went for fishing. She eventually got tired so she sat, packed her fishing gear & started reading a book.
A Policeman came & said: Mam u r in “NO” fishing Zone.
She replied: “I am reading not fishing.”
The policeman said: “But u have all equipment & u might start anytime.”
The woman shouted back: “Im not fishing here and now u r sexually harassing me.”
Shocked policeman replied: “I am not doing anything!”
She smiled: “You have all equipment & might start
anytime!”
Moral : Never Argue with a Woman
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UK Judge to Mallya: you looted the Indian Republic.
Mallya replied: the British empire looted India before me.
Judge smiled: you are one of us, bail granted! 
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DAM WALA JOKE

Girl : (to god) I don’t want to marry. I am educated, independent and self sufficient. I don’t need a husband. But my parents are asking me to marry. What to do?
God replied : You are my finest creation and undoubtedly will achieve many great things. But some things, inevitably, will not go the way you want. Worst, some things will fail. Whom will you blame? Yourself? No! You need a husband
Apple launched the revolutionary faceID security feature…
Meanwhile 3 months later in Kanpur:
“Beta aisa muh todenge ki zindagi bhar tumra Iphonwa lock hi rahega”
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